[Re] Depressed.... Zhao...

Friends and music have been a temporaryescape from my depression but it does not provide any kind solution. Iunderstand why depressed people resort to drugs to relieve themselvesof their depression. It’s an escape but drugs will not fix the problem.I want to blame others for my depression but no one around me hasrecently changed. It’s me. Sometimes, I feel like no one will miss meif I just left or they will forget about me after a week. I feelinsignificant at times and how small my value is compared to everyoneelse.I have only considered suicide once and I blogged about it in my last free post. I feel like no one will read this; or care about my problem. I’ll be called a coward by my friends but it is their way of cheering me up. It’ll work out. I’ll get over it. I’ll make sure it happens. - Andrew Zhao


Dude their will be people that will miss you even if you were only gone for a whole. Dude i will miss you  if you are "missing in action" and i am pretty sure Laura will miss you as well. Andrew your a good friend and the one of the most important person in my life man. I am pretty sure you play a big part in other people's lives as well man. If you are gone who will your little sisters look up too? Who play basketball with Alvin and me?Come on man think back remeber we threw you that surprise birthday party back then on laydecker, bayfarm? You mean a lot to the whole group man ; dont talk like that man. Come talk to us or something; i know laura and i have come to you for problems and stuff. I even call you my chinese version of Dr.Phill lol.


I have felt depressed back then in my life; i know how you feel. How i dealt with it was just talking to people worked things out. My ipod was my go to guy for my therapist at sometimes but i found out that if you expressed feelings openly every once in a while it helps you feel less depressed. I dont know if thats a fact but i worked for me.

cheer up bro come talk to me if you read this or i will come to you; which ever comes first lol.

Your like a brother to me man.

[RE] too heated

When it was our turn to play i got so nervous, even though it wasn't my first
time playing in a team. The other teams were good. We were trying our best, but
somewhat we lost points on silly mistakes. Also the hard thing was when we lost
points some of us got frustrated and irritated. - Enkhule

I feel you on that pressure; I am also a very competitive person but my sport is basketball.
When i play a game of basketball i always give a 110% and i would do what ever it takes to win the game.I hate the fact that I am a competitive person. When the game ends in a lost I would sometimes act bitter to my teammates but I do apologize for my actions. They're time where I swallow my pride accept defeat and acknowledge the better but I will not go down with out a fight.

I do love a intense competitive game; when I get in the zone I get this feeling where I can do the impossible.I feel like I'm fast as lightening and as strong as a tidal wave. I know it sounds cliche or superhero like but it is what it is lol.

[Free] S*** just got real?

Today's free post i would like to talk about what Mr.Sutherland said on how after we graduate from high school that there will be a lot of traps placed ahead on our road to success.Traps like paying college funds for long a long time because of the great expenses or having a job after college and it is not enough to pay off your loans and to survive. Sutherland was not saying we should not go to college but simply educating us.

To be honest i have no idea what to do; I am aware that when i go to college and finish it I am going to have racks and racks of debt. I could go to community college to save a lot money, but i get this family pressure where i have to go to UC or a State college. My family is aware of the cost but that does not change their mind. I did not  want my parents to support me all the time so I got a job at restaurant called Plearn Thai Palace; realizing that my family can finiacial support me I feel like should grow up and make some money and start paying for my own shit.

My uncle at the moment just graduated from college just a few years ago and he has been working his ass off day and night just to pay off his college loans and survive. He lives with my uncle and does not have the luxury of owning a cool gagets but his laptop. He is on thin ice. He is currently a personal trainer for 24 hour fitness and without my uncle he could have been on the streets. He has had past jobs but he has been constantly laided off.

Just because of the stuff my uncle has gone through or is going through it makes me feel like i should not go to college at all. I dont know I am lost and so much stuff is runnning around my head and its making me freak out.

...... i dont know what to do peace.

[CE] Al Davis

"Al Davis was remembered Saturday as the AFL commissioner who helped lead the merger with the NFL that changed professional football forever. He was praised as the trendsetting owner of the Oakland Raiders, who broke racial and gender barriers while winning three Super Bowl titles and preaching his mantra of "Just win, baby!"

I agree with the response that Al Davis is getting, he was a great man and i respect him so much even though I am not a raider fan but i do applaud to the raiders' performance this season. Like Steve Jobs he was a pioneer as well, He hired the first black head coach of the modern era  Art Shell in 1988. Before Art he hired the first Latino coach, Tom Flores; and the first woman CEO, Amy Trask, in NFL. Davis breached several civil rights and diversity barriers during his career with the Raiders. In 1963, the Raiders were scheduled to play a preseason game in Mobile, Alabama. In protest of Alabama's segregation laws, Davis refused to allow the game to be played there and demanded the game be moved to Oakland. Al has changed the game of NFL in so many ways even though when he was the AFL commissioner he was against the merger with the NFL. To this day Davis is considered the most controversial owners in the NFL because of being because being involved in so many lawsuits with Los Angeles, Oakland, Irwindale and the NFL.

Even though i am not a raider fan i still have a lot respect for the team a because of Al Davis and the passionate black and silver raider fans. I hope that later on in the years we will get to meet another person like Al Davis in the NFL. I send my regards to Mark Davis i know it is tough to take over the family buisness while mouring the death of Al. The raiders lost there starting quaterback to injury Jason Campble; they have traded two 1st draft picks of 2013 and 2014 to aquire veteren quarterback Carson Palmer from the Cinncinati Bengals. I hope this move was a good decision and I hope the Raiders will make it to the playoffs this season with great 4-2 start this season.
R.I.P Al Davis

[CE] Abortions

The number of abortions per 1,000women between the ages of 15 and 44 fell from 29.1 in 1981 to 19.6 in 2008.
Despite the drop in the rate of procedures, Stinson said abortion rights remain under attack. She said she'll be happy if her words Wednesday encourage others to step up and fight for those rights. 


This kind of caught my eye because i am doing a government bill for Mock Congress( Big Gov, assignment) on abortion. The bill i plan to propose was to lift certain restrictions on abortions and that the mother should should be allowed to abort her child under any circumstances in order to protect the mother form any physical and mental health problems. I mean it should not be a problem for a mother to abort her child. Maybe the mother has done some mistakes her life and she is unable to provide for her future child; why not make it easy for her to abort. Abortion is not laughing matter of course its a critical decision. Think of it like this lets say this a mother was unable to abort the child under some complication; she has a job but its not stable and she unable to support her self and her man left her. She gives birth and now the baby has to live under harsh circumstances because of the mother's income. She could give the kid up for adoption when born but will scar the mother.Giving away your child  because you could not support her. 

[RE] Simply, music.

Why is it so influential? Have you just sat back and asked yourself is this really worth listening to? I feel as if music describes people in many ways. Believe it or not some of our actions are from the music we listen to, whether good or bad. - Justin

Music has been big in my life.
I started to become a dancer out of the blue because i felt like it was the only way for me to express what i felt when i heard a beat or song i liked. Dance was a way how i expressed my feelings to the song i was listening; a way to physically paint a picture.

Ever since humans figured out how to make a rhythm and beat, music has been a major part in a lot of people's lives. The way it affects us is incredible, music could be thought-provoking, calming, energizing, and it has the power to make you feel or support emotions.- France

  "I feel music is like therapy but cheaper" ever heard of the quote?
Music is an interesting thing. When you party you do not play One wish by Ray j; you would probably something like Get Low by Lil Jon or Party Rock by LMFAO, You may not like these songs but you get what i mean right?(i hope). I know when i feel down and have no one to express my problems to someone at the moment I turn to my therapist the Ipod. Picture this you go in to a place like Jamba Juice; you are about to order you and hear the radio playing some classic songs like Whoomp (there it is) by the Tag Team. You be like WHOOMP THERE IT IS!!! It likes brings out your party side you know what i mean?

What are your interpretation of music?